Bullet Points

Bullet Points

One day, I was slumped in my comfy couch

bored

and I thought to myself

What can you do with a bullet?

As it turns out, you can do many things with

a bullet

eat the bullet

hug the bullet

paint the bullet rainbow

burn the bullet (can you?)

hide the bullet in a pile of spaghetti as tall as Mt. Fuji

throw the bullet on the ground for a hitman to find, and make his day if it fits in his gun

carefully ingest the bullet (don’t forget to chew)

spin the bullet on your finger like a basketball

beat the bullet into bloody submission

sleep with the bullet under your pillow, but don’t blame me if your mother confines you to your room for the next five weeks

 tap dance on the bullet (don’t tell me you can’t)

feature the bullet in your next film project

feature the bullet in your next art project

feature the bullet in your next band concert, somehow

feature the bullet in your next juggling performance (if you can’t, that’s totally fine)

consume the bullet with conviction

sell the bullet…to a craft store

duplicate the bullet and re-enact the Matrix

mail the bullet to your best friend in Florida

feed the bullet to a mob of hungry zombies (it’s their favorite meal)

vaporize the bullet

poke a very tiny hole through the bullet

take the bullet on a rollercoaster ride

put the bullet on a plate, sprinkle it with caviar, and enjoy it as your next meal

wish for another bullet for Christmas so that your bullet may have a friend

carefully peel the bullet apart and examine its insides

tear the bullet apart and open a hole in the time-space continuum

visit the time-space continuum created by the bullet

if the bullet is a time-travelling bullet, make it take you back to the time of the dinosaurs, but don’t forget a camera—if you’re going to brag to your friends about the time you rode a Velociraptor or the time you slew a T-Rex, you’ll need visual proof, right?

But be sure to put the bullet in every picture you take

for added proof.